Manning denies terrible alegations!

Following previous allegations strewn upon Mr. Manning as of late, he called a press conference today where he stated that, “Although these rumors circulating about yours truly are indeed amusing, I assure you that the lot of them are fraudulent."

When queried about his relations with a certain Liz Taylor, Manning responded, turning a shade of red: “Well... maybe not all of the stories are false. I have a thing for bald lunatics.'

In regards to Manning’s absence he says he’s been addicted to SCAT and even did it in a three-piece suit. He says he plans to change his ways and return to the Church of Norris to beg our Lord for forgiveness.

-R.M