The following is an instant messenger conversation (monologue) I had the other night with Count Mortimer. Be warned: if you read this, it will change your life..........................(for the worse).

what a card, he should be DEALT WITH! (if above PICTURE doesn't work click here)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

The Count, 4:01 am.
don't judge so quickly good sir, the means of a journey only outlasts those who perpatrate the dignity of a genuine
tailsman

The Count, 4:02 am.
youre lucky i am drunk

The Count, 4:05 am.
or i'd write an e-mail explaining that heterosexuality is only in existent because people who fail to realize the reasons
they gell their hair actually suffer from a blocked brain pattern that consists of one part neutron and one part fuck nazi
cunt

The Count, 4:36 am.
If that ain't enough then fuck the motha fuckin fuck fuck

The Count, 4:39 am.
chill pack

The Count, 4:50 am.
Plz talk to me

The Count, 4:51 am.
or rid the world of colon cancer and penis sneezing

The Count, 5:15 am.
I am having trouble moving my eyes..

The Count, 5:27 am.
i fractured my foot

The Count, 5:30 am.
foot loose.. everybody count womb puss

The Count, 5:30 am.
oh ya

The Count, 5:33 am.
I got a reply back from admin saying something about me fucking fuckin fuck fuckin sending a fuckin message u fuck ,
I didn't resend it so no need for a fuckin auto response u fuckin prick shit brick lick dick stick wick hick

The Count, 5:36 am.
St. Anger

The Count, 5:37 am.
I AM ON A KILLIN ENVY

The Count, 5:40 am.
. my bridal wear barely exceeds the facism of my diarreaha

The Count, 5:43 am.
a.k.a. Republican thong wedgies

At this point the Count was formally indicted by the government for crimes against humanity and had to abruptly leave his computer

Dr. Snuggles, 11:34 am.
my password is BANANADOLLARSMESUCKYLONGTIME and my credit card number is 9023 5285 7896

Dr. Snuggles, 11:35 am.
Awww shit, i broke the rule! Lord help us Bill Gates...LORD HELP US ALL!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Snuggles (mainly Mortimer)