MATCH
HISTORYI Am the Greatest Ninja of all Time
I'm the best. Seriously. I use a very advanced undefeated method of kung fu fighting...It's called a "gun" and, so far, I'm undefeated! Don't believe me? Check my match history:
MATCH
HISTORY
Match #1: Some guy came at me with Judo, I shot him.
Match #2: Some guy tried Tie Kwon Do*, shot him in the spine.
Match #3: Some guy tried plain old useless karate, gut shot him, took hours
to bleed out.
Match #4: Some clown pulled that drunken boxing crap, didn't think a shotgun could break someone in half...
*if that's how you spell that; sorry, I don't speak gibberish.
TRAINING
You too can also become a masterful ninja, like me. Think it's gonna be hard? It is, kinda, but compare it to the traditional (crappy) methods:
| My Training | Their Training (Tradition) | |
| The Cost | One 10 dollar box of wine brought to the gravel pit behind Earl's trailer (Earl pictured below). | You gotta live as a monk or something, so you don't even got any money. |
| The Trainer |
Quote: "You got real purdy lips!" |
Quote: "20 more years of training and I can stop bullets!" |
| Time and Effort Req. | Time: One afternoon; Effort: none (Note: some effort required to keep the liquor down or Earl will call you a "Commie faggot" and leave before your training is done). | Time: 20 years+ of spartan lifestyle ; Effort: every waking moment of your life spent training. |
I'm cool.
-Dr. Snuggles
P. S. Sorry, I didn't feel like writing about Gregory
