(left ) the actual clipping from the event.

Editors of ChuckNorrisIsJesus recently appeared in the B.C. Times for the selfless flat top haircuts they received. The purpose of cutting our hair in this style (a style made classic by the likes of Kurt Russell, Dolf Lundgren and Kirk Douglass) was not selfish vanity. Instead it was an effort to bring Princess Diana back to life. On the topic of the late princess Mr. Rat Manning was heard to remark, "I'd do anything to bring that sweet piece of ass back to life. And think of all the good she did...like nude sunbathing with her millionaire playboy boyfriend 24/7, that had to help someone."

Some of the proceeds were also intended to go to the children's hospital. C. Mortimer submitted his legendary magazine cut-out collage on bristol board; this year sporting a photo montage of the late princess. Said Mortimer: "If curing all illness in children takes only some scissors, paste, and a little love, I'll cut the sh*t outta every f*cking magazine out there."

I was also in attendance, but I was much to drunk to remember anything of significance (mainly because our savior, Chuck Norris, turned a shit load of water into colt .45 for me at our last interview).

As the article states, the event raised a whopping 808 dollars, almost enough to pay for the exotic gels that were used on Rat's flat top.