All my STDs turn five today

I can't believe it was 5 years ago tonight that Dirk, Lewis, Turner and I embarked on a wild night of SMOKING cigarettes and drinking COCK-tails in the luxurious bathhouses of San Francisco. What a night! The next day I was diagnosed with several venereals, and, needless to say, when I found out what that word meant, I was pretty upset...

Until I named them that is...

I just wanna wish a Happy Birthday to Sammy Syphilis, Gerry Genital Mycoplasmas, Keith Cytomegalovirus, and Sean Shingellosis while I reflect on that wild night...

- Count Mortimer