This is a sad day for chuckynorris.com. Thanks to some kinda internet mal-fucktion, we missed Christmas. I'm not sure what the problem was ('cause I'm not too handy with the internet) but, I'm guessing we ran outta gigabytes. I called the internet dudes, but they only spoke Mexican and they lied like jews talking about the holocaust!

They were all like:

"Hey Gringo, we fixa your internet as soon as we get the parts"

And I was all like,

"I DONT DESERVE THIS SHIT, I WAS IN <insert terrible movie here>"

So he goes,

"Cool it ese, or Ima cut joo up realllllll nice"

Then my wife comes running into the room and says,

"Mel, can't you get all that Jesus paraphenelia outta the sitting room? It's frightening the Glovers!" (cause Danny Glover and his wife Dusty St. Claire were over)

Then the Mexico-islamala-muslimoid guy on the phone goes:

"Who that jabberin? is that your female? she sound likea slut chico"

Well, needless to say, there were a lot of crucifixions at my place that night (and by crucifixions, I mean lines of cocaine off Danny Glover's ebony ass).

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, we had a nice little party on Chuckmass (march 10th). Rat manning nailed my penis to a miniature cross and Count mortimer put his arm pretty well right threw a friggin' wall!

-Mel Gibson

P.S. BUY MY DVDS