That Dirty Rat!

  Every week we receive thousands of letters of adoration regarding Mr. Rat Manning. But today I must bring something to everyone’s attention about him. Something evil...

 Early last year Manning made his seasonal visit to Disney land with the “Chucky Norris Make A Wish Foundation.” (see picture right). Right now most of you could give two shits…am I right? Selfless Manning does this every year, right?

Well, here’s something so sinister that it will shut your shit yap… the bastard son of Manning!!!!!!

Manning's lawyers (Rat himself is nowhere to be found) have fervently denied the allegations that this is his son. After suspected foul play on maternity tests issued on the Jerry Spring Show, Mr. Chuck "Jesus" Norris conducted some tests of his own, and concluded that, yes, Manning was the father. But who is the mother? "That’s none of your damn business!" quoted Chuck with a round house that stopped inches from my throat (Snuggles suspects that demon cow Liz Taylor…she’s been snooping around quite a bit as of late).

            Then, just yesterday, I snuck into a Dallas, TX hospital and I was lucky enough to attend the birth of Rat Jr. the second. (See picture below)

 

  This photograph is certainly evidence of Rat's philandering (Compliments to Dr. Snuggles for his great camera work)

P. S.

Mishap seems to haunt us like dirty diapers, for Manning  is nowhere to be found! We have discussed matters with Chuck and he has notified us that after he is done killing everyone with SARS (He hates Canadians) - he will hunt down Manning…ONCE AND FOR ALL!

(If anyone has seen him, please e-mail us !)

 

Yours Truly,,,

 - The Great Count Mortimer!